If a philosophy department is eliminated from a college and no one raises a voice in protest, did it ever actually exist?

There have been many departments and majors that have suffered a cruel fate under the alleged budget crisis that Utah State University is supposedly suffering through. We all know at least one professor who has been asked to retire early. We all look at Banner and find the choices for classes noticeably thinner than they were a year ago. The philosophy department may not be as bad off as other majors or departments. However, no subject on a college campus is so embedded in the tradition of a university education as is philosophy.

From ancient Greece to the first modern university in Bologna, Italy, philosophy has been the cornerstone for a university education. Arguing logic, epistemology and rhetoric was considered essential for an elite mind. And while USU most likely has no plans to eliminate this from the curriculum, it certainly does not seem to care that the lack of philosophy available to students denies them an essential part of the traditional college experience.

At the start of this semester, only three philosophy professors are teaching classes at USU. Two of them are tenured. The third tenured professor is on sabbatical. Given the size of USU, that is meager. Most schools of our size and stature easily reach double digits in tenured professors. What makes this more embarrassing is that a look at BYU’s philosophy Web site reveals 10 full-time professors, six part-time professors and seven professors emeritus. This is a school whose standing creed is, “When the Prophet speaks, the debate ends.” Yet, they are fully staffed in a subject they really do not want their students to actively engage in. Lunacy.

Please, do not think that my lament about the quantity of philosophy professors and classes at USU is an indictment of the quality we are fortunate to have in Logan. The two tenured professors teaching this semester are incredible men who I strongly recommend my fellow Aggies seek when making a schedule. Charlie Huenemann is the Zen Humanist whose classes are more like 20 people sitting around a campfire. The greatest thing about being in Huenemann’s class is that no philosophical subject is too mundane or horribly confusing that his sly humor can’t deconstruct it into layman’s terms. If you do not find Huenemann’s classes fun and involving, my suggestion to you is to consider trade school.

And then there is Richard Sherlock, a man whose quirky brilliance needs to be seen in full-living color and three dimensions to be fully appreciated. Personally, I do not fear God. What I do fear is explaining to professor Sherlock why I do not fear God. If you go into Sherlock’s class with half an argument, you leave it with half your pride. His grasp of philosophical principles and the speed in which he lays out the discussions has made me nickname his classes “The Fastest Fifty Minutes in Utah.”

One of the main arguments against philosophy’s relevance to a university education is philosophy majors themselves. The standing stereotype suggests that philosophy majors are unshaven atheists who look like Comic Book Guy from “The Simpsons” and generally sneer at everyone around them. Yeah, OK, that is for the most part true. But, you have to admit, Comic Book Guy is one of the funniest characters in the show. You wouldn’t kill him off for being irrelevant – so why eliminate philosophy?

The detractors will tell me this university is broke. That the money simply is not there to fund much of anything, no less philosophy. Well, consider this short list of things the university wastes money on: free ice cream, over watering the lawns, guest speakers who perpetuate the myth of man-made global warming, this column and a 20-win bonus incentive to a basketball coach, whose nonconference schedule is filled with teams who would struggle to take seventh place at the Special Olympics.

The president of this university, the provost and the dean of HASS might help their George W. Bush-esque popularity if they started concentrating on providing more classes to students, regardless of their proclamations of financial woe. Philosophy is not an element of a university education, it is a fundamental part of it. Fund it.

Harry Caines is a senior re-entry student from Philadelphia majoring in interdisciplinary studies. Unconventional Wisdom will appear every Monday. Comments can be made at www.aggietownsquare.com or sent to chiefsalsa@yahoo.com